今年的最后一个Post

往年的12月31号，我都在享受慵懒假期。今年比较特别，我居然在念书准备考试。

感觉自己过了两个2008年，一个是在新加坡/马来西亚，另一个是在中国，两种截然不同的体验，所以总是无法把两者看成一年。

来北京混了四个月，说混呢，是因为我在学业上变得好懒好懒；但生活上，我变得很自在。之前考虑要不要延长的时候，我赫然发现新加坡和北京，对我而言都一样。不是说它们俩拥有一样的特质，而是经过各种因素的权衡后，最终两者得到了一样的分数。

很显然的，我在新加坡的生活很沉闷，除了看书看戏听歌，真的找不出什么爱好。我不爱逛街或人多的地方，更确切地说，我的脑子一直和我说，新加坡没有什么好玩的地方。所以，除了待在舒适的校园里，我对其他地方根本提不起兴趣。思想上的抗拒，使我失去了解新加坡的机会。当然，这样说就应能推断出我在新加坡的心情写照 -- 苦闷。

来到中国后，生活中出现了久违的新奇事物。我对中国的人、食物、古迹、政治都非常感兴趣。常和不同国籍的朋友聚餐，学了很多餐桌上的礼仪呵呵~连这些生活上的小事都能让我非常起劲，可见我多快乐。后来我却发现，如此悠闲的生活，竟然让我怀念起刻苦读书的日子。我承认，时间是掌握在自己手上的，既然我开始怀念啃书的日子，那我大可勤奋上课读书啊！可是，人，至少我，是一个很奇怪的动物。试问谁会在没有成绩压力的情况下，自发拿起学术性的课本来读？文学作品还行，但课本我就真的不行了。所以每每要拿起课本的时候，我就会找许多借口。可见，生活上的缺憾，总是自身造成的。

而最终我选择了自由的国外，毕竟国外无论在学业上还是工作上，比新加坡拥有“更大的可能”，所以，我的新年愿望很简单，但也很贪婪，因为我期望来年的人生将有“无限的可能”呵呵~

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I always remember a line from One Tree Hill, "Everthing you do now, shakes your future". I think i am very blessed to have opportunities to live in foreign lands. Every countries i lived, left a mark on me, every little things that i did, shape "Shi Wan".

In Italia, i learnt to appreciate life, or rather, how to live my life. I always knew work life balance will play have great influences in my future and the trip strengthen my belief. Life isn't just about work and money, I need to spare something or some time for myself, to recharge, or to rebuild, maybe even to release. I need to see the world because it's the key thing to keep me going on the long journey of life. I need to feel motivated and inspired, traveling makes me feel so. I want to expand my horizon and be the person that i want or wish myself to be. All these things, can only be done by myself. Me and me only.

China makes me realized that life isn't easy. There are a lot of things in life which are out of our control. How will my life or me turn out in a decade's time, is about the choices i made in life. Good or bad, i need to live with it because i made those decision. I know when i begin to work, things happen around me will make me question my morals or principles. But as i grew older, i've learnt not to judge the so called "good or ugly". I can choose the high roads, but it ain't easy. I don't want to go for the low roads, it's not easy either. All i can do, is to make the best decision on the spot and try not to regret it in future.

In other words, Italy brings out the optimistic me and China teaches me about reality.

What will 2009 give me?? A relationship? A career? Looking forward to it.

Wishing everyone happy new year ^_^