About Me

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To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face. And to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

毕业的脚步真的近了

刚从谢师宴回来,今晚玩得非常尽兴,现在心情依旧亢奋。

很难想象,这是一个我差点没去成的晚会,所以特高兴自己最终还是出席了^_^

中文系真的能以卧虎藏龙来形容,一名同学在被朋友哄上台唱《帝女花》时,真能现场就清唱起来,而且是男女音都能唱,只能以“wow!”来形容。还有火热的肚皮舞,真的很很很“辣”!!!老师与同学的小提琴/吉他演奏,同学的手语歌以及清新的新谣等,让大家欢度了个轻松愉快的夜晚。

还有一个半月,大学生涯就结束了,而大家也将各散东西。但在那之前,让我们一起加油!!

还有,七月的毕业典礼大家一定要出席哦!

Monday, March 15, 2010

偶遇的依赖

小琬难得出城,但拖着的却是疲惫的身心。

身旁站着某个健壮高大且身上飘逸着淋浴香味的老外,仅能看到侧面,很有男人味的年轻脸庞。

公车上人越来越多、很挤,倦怠感阵阵袭来。

突然涌现奇怪的念头,不如就把他当成依靠吧!

身体遵循着潜意识的冲动,轻轻地靠向了他,惊讶的是他也靠了回来。

右肩紧靠右肩,传递着皮肤触感与体温。

就这样,两个陌生人,相互依赖着。

到站下车,掉头离开。

但脚步却慢了下来,心里希望能看他的正面一眼。

而他,并没出现。

固执的我,不愿回头。

就这样,毫秒的缘分。

背后留下了许多问号与可能。

腿上还停留着其脚毛磨蹭的感觉。

Friday, March 5, 2010

Will i be an amazing person who live an amazing life?

I've been working hard lately, no one would quite believe that i wrote my 18ooo words thesis in a week. But yeah i did, it's not a great one, still working on the details, but at least that i know i have that in me.

So i begun the waiting process again. This time is for the lecturer to return his comments and I started with things that i'd do when i'm chillin'. That is, watching tv and eating junks.

As i was pacing around in my room, watching the same old drama that i've watched for, i don't know, 5 times? Then it hit me.

I've been doing nothing, literally nothing, about my life in the past 7 months since i've returned from China. I don't read anymore. I don't go out. I just buried myself in some sort of comfort zone because i don't have to think or act, or even move. In this case, the comfort zone is my room and i'm forming an unhealthy attachment to my laptop, Hermy.

Well, in the past i would say that this is what Singapore does to you. This time, i find even this rather valid reason is fading in its trueness. The sole problem is with me, and with me alone.

But i don't know what's wrong with me. Or i should say, yes i do know what the hell is wrong with me, just that i'm too proud to admit it. Because deep down, i know there is nothing i can do about it.

People told you to dream big. So being a dreamer, i have a lot of dreams. A lot of them. However, none of them is coming true or is about to come true anytime soon. So, i felt trapped, bound inside my own veins, distasted by it, yet can't get rid of it.

So i've tried, tried to ran away from this ugly truth and persuade myself that those dreams don't exist. Telling myself it is just something that your brain does to you when you're bored. Put this thought into action and voila, i'm hiding out in a hole that i'm digging.

I woke up this morning and thought about it, long and hard. Oasis once sung "I'm start a revolution from my bed cuz you said the brains i had went to my head", i guess i know how it feels now.

And not to mention, this hiding out, is also a deja vu. I've done it before in high school and after i came back from Italy. I'm always running around in circle, mourning the lost, yet not to chase the coming fate.

That's why i get stucked. Because life goes on, and time too. If you don't move on with them, you'd find yourself caught and freezed in certain moments of your life which feels real to you, but they are unreal to life.

Somehow i think i'm being defeated by life. I don't want to be a loser. But i do feel like losing now.